Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Rising From the Ashes & Mercury Retrograde

A few weeks ago, around the beginning of June, I went through some changes in my life, both the personal every day life as well as my online persona. I eliminated some things and people I thought were holding me back and causing me to be angry, irritable and in general a person I didn't want to be. This falls under that I am ever evolving work in progress blanket I wrote about a while ago.

I also made some changes to the blog layout, removed some widgets that no longer served a purpose for where this blog is going, changed up the lay out and tried to make it more appealing and easier to navigate.

Here at home, I cleaned out some clutter that had accumulated in the form of junk mail, and miscellaneous crap, you know, those unimportant pieces of paper just lying around. I cleaned and rearranged some of my kitchen cabinets, and the cabinets in my bathroom. Straightened out my closet and organized things according to the pieces I wear the most often.

Mercury went Retrograde on July 14th, amidst one of the most powerful solar flares we've had in quite a while. Mercury Retrograde is usually a difficult time for me. I become more of a raving bitch than I normally am, I snap at everyone and everything, I'm more easily prone to crying and I'd much rather just be left completely alone. Unfortunately, I can't wallow in my misery. So, I spend a little while each morning in my newly REarranged and REorganized (some of those *RE* things we are supposed to do during the retrograde) Temple room listening to music and grounding. Usually this works and I can have a peaceful and productive day... not so much the past couple days.

I've been working in the room where I had my altar and Pagan items. I decided to dedicate this room entirely to being my Temple. Before I made this decision, I had so many different things in there and the energy was scattered all over the place. I moved my desk back into the office and put all office supplies back in there as well. I also took my vanity/makeup table and put it in the master bedroom. It now sits in front of the window and I have natural light when I'm getting all dolled up before leaving the house... LOL! The emergence of the Temple is a separate blog entry in itself... I have pictures to go with it and will try to get it written before the weekend.

Online I deleted some accounts I no longer use. Email accounts that had been set up for marketing purposes. You know, the ones they call disposable accounts that you use when you sign up for something new or take a survey so your *real* email inbox doesn't get packed with useless spam. And I removed some social networking accounts. I have too much going on in my personal life and couldn't give as much attention as some require.

In the midst of reworking some of my online accounts I found a couple places that I added to the list of the ones I'm using. They are sites giving advice on how to improve your blog and possibly make money for the things you write about. I haven't spent much time actually checking them out to see what all they offer, but the few pages I did read in full, made me want to subscribe and be able to get more information. I'm planning in the next few weeks to go over these pages with a fine tooth comb and see what suggestions I can implement to make my blog more marketable.

Out of all the rubble I had created I found I have a few more friends than I knew about. When I removed the *toxic one* from my life, I also removed all the friends we had in common without stopping to think if I would be eliminating someone who was a positive part of my world. I just went through the friend list and deleted them without question...I figured if they were friends with the *toxic one* they were probably toxic as well and I didn't want that in my life any longer. I'm ashamed of my assumptions and I'm happy to say I was wrong...

One that I didn't remove and had kept in contact with even though the *toxic one* didn't like that I still had her as a friend (how the hell a person can dictate which friends one can have is way beyond me) turned out to be someone I highly respect and look up to. Even though we met through crazy circumstances, we became friends and have nurtured that friendship to the point we chat online every day. She is an amazing woman, has an active family, is active in her Pagan community and still finds the time to not only write The Multi-Faceted Experience, but also hosts Pagan Pages Blog Hop. Kourtney is also active in Pagan Blog Project, writing an entry each week, and all the while living with clinical depression and rheumatoid arthritis. To say that this woman is amazing would be an understatement. I am fortunate to have her in my life. I was extremely happy to continue the friendship we had begun and I'm looking forward to the future...

One person I was surprised to have contact me was Bella... She and the *toxic one* had been online friends for many years and I was under the mis-assumption she wouldn't want to have anything to do with me once we had no friends in common. Again, I'm sorry for assuming anything. Bella sent me a message on Facebook and we began chatting on a regular basis as well. She recently went through some hard times with the loss of a family member. It's extremely hard to lose someone you are close to and for a stranger to say *I know what you are feeling* is difficult to not only hear but believe. However, I too had lost my father and knew exactly what it's like to be Daddy's little girl and lose your hero. Our relationship has grown from those first few weeks where communication was sporadic as she went through the grieving process. We have a 4 way conversation going on continuously with the others who have come together as friends after eliminating the *toxic one* and you should hear some of the things the 4 of us talk about, LOL! Bella is another SAHM and writes her blog Tales of the Wolf Queen. If you don't know her or follow her blogs you are missing a very talented lady. Stop on over and check her out...

The final person I was surprised to hear from was actually friends in real life, face to face with the *toxic one* and after Melissa read my blog entry on Friends and What They Mean to Me, she messaged me to let me know my entry had given her pause and caused her to evaluate the people in her life as well. To say I was flattered that my words could have such an impact on someone is understated. I only write about the things I live, feel and believe. I was humbled by her words. That entry was the catalyst for Melly to remove the *toxic one* from her life. This was a difficult decision...not only were they face to face friends, their husbands were friends and they lived around the corner from each other. However, because of some of the things that happened which made Melly feel not only uncomfortable, but angry and hurt as well, she did the only thing she could do and remain true to herself and her husband and son. Melly deleted her blog because of some of the comments made to her and hasn't created one again...YET. We are working on it and when she's satisfied and it's up and running I'll make sure I post a link to it.

So, I want to thank the *toxic one* for coming into my life when she did, and introducing me to some of the most amazingly wonderful, strong and spiritual women it is my pleasure to know and have in my life. Even though we are spread out over different parts of the US, we are together, united and bound by friendship. A friendship that I have no doubt will stand the test of time. We all know the true meaning of friendship, we have survived the *toxic one* and we have Risen From the Ashes... LOL!!

6 comments:

  1. *Cries my eyes out*

    Thank you, Vickie, not only for such a sweet post, but for your friendship and your support. They both mean the world to me, as does my friendship with Melissa and my new friendship with Kourtney.

    It meant so much to have you accept my friendship again, and you reached out to me when I lost my Dad when I needed it most, and I will always be grateful for that.

    Thank you for this post, and than you for being my friend! <3

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    1. You are more than welcome Bella and that's what friends do. I'm always here for you, any of you, when ever you need me. <3

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  2. Vicki,
    You did what you had to do and thats all that is important. You have inspired me to clean out the negative if need be. I just wanted to stop by and say <3 you and I am here for you and glad your my mentor and mother witch. Knowing you has been the best thing in my life. Because of you I have met some wonderful people. We may not agree on some things but they are all still wonderful. YOU ARE THE BEST!

    Love Stevie

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    1. Thanks for your support Stevie! I'm fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life and find I am blessed on a daily basis because of them.

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  3. I am truly touched Vickie. This is an amazing post, and you've brought me to tears. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I have no doubt that our four-way friendship is the phoenix that came from the ashes. Something that is so wonderful coming out of something so toxic is a gift for sure.

    Blessings,
    Kourtney

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    1. Kourtney! You have always been straight with me, how could I repay you with anything other than honesty? I am more than pleased to know you and look forward to what the future hold for the 4 of us... <3

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