Wednesday, November 30, 2011

"Welcome to Thanksvember! 30 Days Of Thanks"

I've been doing this on my Facebook page and let me tell you, it was a huge challenge to stick to it and come up with something different for 30 days. Today is the final day and instead of writing something cute or snarky on my timeline, I'm going to write the last entry here and link it to my page.

The last 30 days have been an emotional roller coaster for Jimmy & I. Technically, since May 2010, we have been what government agencies consider homeless. That is to say, we didn't have a lease or mortgage payment and the only bills we had in our name were the ones for Time Warner and T-mobile. Which BTW, do NOT count as utility bills. We lived with Tanya and Ed for a while, but then Ravyn was coming and they needed the room we were sleeping in for her. So April 1st, we moved...just down the street, into an unfavorable roommate situation.

I'm not going to go into alot of details, for those of you who have been following my blogs and FB page, most of the crap is posted if you want to try and catch up. Lets just say, living with a selfish, lazy, arrogant, irresponsible, disrespectful, manipulative,lying, narcissistic 27 year old is something I don't ever want to have to do again. The lies she told and the things she did were just so wrong.

We pay rent here to an amazing, kind hearted man, who would bend over backwards to help you out. All you have to do is be honest with him, something she just couldn't do. Even though she lived here and we moved in with her, we were the ones that paid our rent on time and took care of the house and yard. But, let something happen and all we would get it *it's MY house, you aren't on the lease and I'll do what ever I want*. Unfortunately, she made this statement and choice one too many times, the landlord found out and gave her a 30 day termination letter. Well, that didn't go over well at all, her mother (who MUST control every situation) had to get involved, told the landlord that _____ didn't understand the lease terms (mind you, she's lived here for 3 years) and convinced the landlord to give her one more chance. Which he agreed to BUT told her he was writing a new lease and putting Jimmy & I on it beginning December 1st. She said "OH HELL NO", packed what she could get into her car and went to live with her girlfriend...who lives with her parents.

To make a LONG story short, she FINALLY finished packing all her crap and moved out of here on the 9th of November. As soon as she was gone and had given the landlord her keys, I immediately cleansed and smudged the ENTIRE house to remove all the negativity we had been living under since April.

We have slowly begun to make this our home, it is such a peaceful place to be. We moved into the master bedroom with the attached bath and walk in closet. I love the bath tub, it's HUGE! I spend alot of time soaking, and using my candles and lavender bath salts.

Jimmy has the room we had already been using as an office all to himself with the exception of my new wireless all in one printer (I LOVE being in here and sending something to print in another room, LOL). He plays World of Warcraft, is in a guild that he enjoys and is on a raid team 3 nights a week. So he puts on his headphones, pulls the mic down and tunes out everything for 4 hrs 3 nights a week. Unless I need his help with Ravyn, he's great at stopping what he's doing to hold her or make a bottle or anything I might need.

The room that was our bedroom is now my Witchy room, I have my books, candles, incense, altar, desk and laptop there. I even brought a blanket in for the furbabies to sleep on and put it under my desk, since they have the need to be touching me at all times. Well, at least when I'm sitting still, LOL! I have my solitude to meditate, or write, or read or listen to music. And since the big bow windows face east, I can stay inside on cold nights and still so my full moon magic. We have peace once more in our lives.

I am slowly buying things for the rest of the house, we got a used sectional for the living room, and are using a wooden tray for an end table. I had brought my dishes and flatware when we left Raleigh so all I *needed* was a set of cookware. I got those before she moved, cause she packed the things she thought would inconvenience us the most in her first round of packing. Little did she know I was already prepared for her games, LOL!

We have a beautiful covered front porch where we are able to enjoy the North Carolina weather, right now it's cold and I don't spend too much time out there, but let it hit 65 or 70 degrees and I'm outside. If we are still here in the spring, we plan to work on the flower beds we started last spring and add some additional plants and shrubs.

My classes at Ashford are going well, today is day 2 of the final week of my second class. I've already done and posted the work I needed for this week, including the final draft of the 8 page reflective paper I had to write. So far my accumulative grade for PSY202 is 94.69% with the grades for last week not posted and then the grades for this the final week. I'll know my final grade by the end of the first week in December. I start my 3rd class English Composition on December 6th.

We still have Ravyn 5 night a week, Tanya is working and trying to save to buy herself a car, things just aren't going well in her life right now. Unfortunately, Jimmy & I aren't in a position to be able to help anymore than we are with taking care of Ravyn for her.

So to wrap up my Thanksvember, I'd like to give thanks for the peace we have been given, the ability for me to remove the toxic waste from my life and the chance to go forward from here and continue to live as Goddess guides us. It's been a tough November, but I feel we are finally on the right track.

Now I'm looking forward to Yule and Christmas!! We have our tree up, but not completely decorated because I *borrowed* decorations last year. Tanya gets paid this week and we are going shopping for decorations for her tree and our tree too. I can't wait to see Ravyn and her reaction to the lights... even though this will be a holiday on a budget, I have some ideas to make it memorable. I'm excited!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Dream Walking...

Usually I don't remember much about the dreams I have. Or if I do, the details are not as vivid as the one I had last night. That's one of the reasons I don't keep a dream journal. I can't remember enough when I wake up to write down what I saw as I dream. The sequence is a bit muddled, but the journey was very intense, enlightening and all in all pretty peaceful.

My dream began as what I imagine one would see in a *usual* journey dream. I'm walking, walking in smoke, trash, unhappiness, clutter. It's a well worn path, with many people and many footprints left behind from those who have walked this path before. The farther I go, the more difficult it is to move, but I continue and endure the struggles laid out before me.

I see obstacles I must go over or around, I have no guidance, I move blindly from one place to the next. On and on I go and travel through what I see has become my life, and what will become my future.

As I continue on the journey, I come to a fork in the road. Ahead of me is the same life I'm living now. The same despair, clutter, unhappiness, and drudgery. To the left is a less traveled path, covered with weeds and surrounded by tall grasses. No one has been on this road in quite some time. I'm thinking why would anyone take this path? It's not very well defined, a person will most assuredly become lost by choosing this route.

As I'm standing there looking at this less traveled path, people all around me are pushing and shoving, yelling at me to get out of the way, that I'm blocking the way and I need to just keep moving. Again, this is the life I've been living, the one I'm used to and the one that seems to be never ending.

But, I just can't take one more step, my feet are frozen to the spot I'm standing, I can't even move off the road out of the way. I begin to feel a sense of panic, since I can't move, I know I'm going to get hurt, knocked down, stepped on...something. I'm becoming frightened by this time and I don't know how to free myself from the horrible sensation I am feeling.

About this time a stranger steps up to me and tells me all I have to do is choose and I can move on my way. I look up at her and ask how can I choose? I don't want to continue on the road I'm now traveling, the road I know, but the other option is unknown and frightening. We stand there in the road, with dozens of people pushing past us, and she tells me, Vickie, you are not happy where you are at this time. You have been searching for such a long time for a way to make your life better, more peaceful and more fulfilling. After all this time, do you really think you will find your peace if you continue on the road you are currently walking? Aren't you ready to make some changes in your life?

As per my usual, I don't think about the decision before me, I just act. I choose the path to the left, the path less traveled, the path that's full of weeds, rocks and no foot prints to be seen...anywhere. I cautiously take the first step down that road, and the more steps I take the clearer the path becomes. The weeds thin out, the rocks become smaller, and the steps of those who have taken this path before me appear in front of me. My guardian cautions me, Vickie, you must go slowly, choose your steps carefully, because even though you can clearly see the foot prints of those who have gone before you, they won't always travel the same path you are searching for and won't be there to guide you.

I can't begin to explain to you the sense of peace and tranquility I have had since this dream. I woke up this morning feeling more at ease with myself than I have in a very long time. My level of stress has reduced, I don't have the sense of urgency to *fix* something...

I've found my magick once again. And let me tell you, I NEVER want to loose it...ever again!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Hump Day Happenings

So, I'm a week late, and I'm very sorry!

Last week was crazy! Most know the issues we've been having with the roommate...well they came to a head a week or so ago. Accusations were made, the landlord got involved, his decision to add Jimmy & I to the lease in December didn't go over well with her, she said Oh Hell No, she gave her notice to vacate, and last Wednesday she moved ALL her stuff out of the house. By the time everything was said and done, I was too emotionally exhausted to even try to write my name, let alone sit at the keyboard. So, again I apologize and will make sure I get here at least every Wednesday evening to give you an update of the weeks happenings.

Classes are going well, I'm in week 3 of my second class, PSY202. Today I submitted an 8 page "Reflective Paper" including the title page, outline and reference page, summarizing my life up to this moment and laying out the plan for my future goals. It's in rough draft form, and I'm waiting on feedback from the TA so I can tweak it and make it all pretty for the final submission in week 5. So far my accumulative grade in this class is 92.42%. I didn't do too well on last weeks quiz, so my grade reflects that.

Miss Ravyn is beginning to crawl all over the house! Actually right now she seems to be doing the inch worm thing, but still makes it across the room in nothing flat. Jimmy & I still take care of her 5 nights a week so Tanya can work, and we love having her here with us. Today we were talking about her and Papa said she's already got him wrapped around her finger, I can't wait til she can talk and bat those baby blues at him when she wants something, LOL!!

I'm still kinda disconnected from things, there isn't much that keeps my interest for very long at a time. So, I've been reading and listening to my music, burning candles and meditating. At first I thought the seasonal depression was coming on early, but the weather has been beautiful and I'm still able to sit outside, so I don't think that's it.

Thanksgiving is next week, I think about my Mom alot this time of year. Our holidays were so full of craziness, with cooking the big meal and then spending the entire weekend decorating her house for Christmas. Then there were those marathon shopping trips we used to go on. It's about 45-60 minutes from their house to the mall she likes to shop at so we'd get in the truck, and make a day of it in town. I know, crazy! But it was fun, and we laughed our butts off all the time.

I'm cooking here at the house for Jimmy, Tanya, Ed and Samuel, Tanya has to work that evening, so we'll be eating around 1PM and then I'll have the baby til she gets off at 10 or 11 that night. We're having some of the traditional things: turkey, stuffing (homemade, not StoveTop), mashed potato's and gravy, dinner rolls, pumpkin pie and chocolate pie for Jimmy, with a few of my own concoctions as well...sweet potato casserole with a pecan crunchy topping, cranberry sauce and then leftovers! YUMMY

OH YEAH! I'm doing the 30 Days of Thanksvemeber on Facebook, so stop by and see what I'm Thankful for...

Well, I guess that's all for this week...I'll do my best to be back next week with another installment of Hump Day Happenings...sheesh, I gotta come up with a different title. That just sounds SO lame, LOL!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

It's Been Crazy Around Here...

Sorry I haven't kept up with posting. To say my life has been a zoo would be an understatement.

So here's the thing... I take care of the little Miss Ravyn Thursday thru Monday from 2:30PM to about 11:15PM or so while Tanya works, have Tuesday and Wednesday off. My classes at Ashford University go Tuesday(Day 1)thru Monday(Day 7). And I usually do my entire week of assignments on Tuesday and Wednesday to post on the required day. Most calendar weeks run Sunday thru Saturday, geez it's no wonder I'm confused, LOL!

I'm going to *TRY* to post an entry before bedtime on Wednesdays to keep you up to date on what's going on here in Hope Mills, NC. I won't guarantee anything, but it seems like a good idea for now.

Beginning this Wednesday November 9th, look for the Hump Day Happenings...yeah I know, lame, but I can't think of anything else right now. I'm open for suggestions, LOL!!