This was written in 2006 at a time when I felt the need to express my reasons for making the choice to leave the religion I was raised in. I recently found it while going through some files on a flash drive and decided to post it here.
Disclaimer: This blog is NOT directed towards anyone. I am writing this as my PERSONAL opinion on Christianity and the effects it has had on MY life. Having been raised in church since I was 8 years old (I'm 50 as of this writing), I feel I am entitled to form some of my own thoughts on the subject. IF you see yourself here, it is your own guilty conscious and paranoia speaking to you.
I was one of those people you find in church every time the doors were open...Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Friday night for youth group, and then choir practice on which ever night it was scheduled. Church was my life. All my friends were there, and none of them went to the same high school I did, so everything I did was centered around church in some way. I was very active as a teenager, held an office in our youth group, and won a few awards for the events I took part in. Was even crowned *Sweetheart Queen* when I was 16 for raising the most money for our *Light for the Lost* missions youth banquet. I was in EVERY play and program, taught Sunday school, helped out in the nursery and the kitchen for the meals the church sponsored every Sunday night after services.
This all came to a screeching halt right before my 18th birthday. You see, I had gotten married, had a baby, and then did the unforgivable...I filed for divorce. I divorced an abusive man who took great pleasure in beating me black & blue. (He even beat me the night I went into labor, causing the premature delivery of my oldest daughter). Now, because I was divorced, I could no longer be a part of the things I had been so active in just a few months prior. I was informed by my minister that I was *welcome* to come to his church, HOWEVER, I would only be permitted to sit on the very most back pew and I wouldn't be returning to ANY of the church activities that had been such a major part of my life.
Now, they still expected me to contribute my weekly *tithe* (monetary contribution) to the church, it was my *duty* to continue to support the minister and the work the church was doing. I said oops, NOT! and I stopped going to church. After that, I tried going back but to a different church, where I pretty much felt like an outsider.
SO, this is MY opinion and feelings about the Christian church...
There is too much condemnation and hypocrisy in Christianity, too much of people who claim to be Christians, but are the first to judge you for something either truly done or just something they have perceived you have done. Too much *I love the Lord*, but spit on my neighbor, too much give me your money, but I can't help you out when you are broke and almost homeless, too much you MUST be saved or you will burn in eternal damnation...yeah, OK.
I dislike the way *most* Christians tell you in one breath how much they love their Lord, and how good a Christian they are, but then turn around and manipulate a situation so things turn out the way they want them to go. If you are a *true* Christian, it's not for you to be the judge...that's Gods job.
So wake up and realize that those of you who are now judging others, YOU will be the one to answer for it when you stand before God and from what I have read (and I DO remember ALOT of the scripture I learned while attending church), he can be a very vicious, vindictive God...
I could sit here and write scripture after scripture, but that's not what this is about. It's about my feelings and why I feel the way I do about organized religion...