Monday, January 31, 2011

My Days Just Keep Getting Crazier!

It's true, my brother does have stage 4 carcinoma and since it's progressed as far as it has, the doctors have determined it is inoperable. Chemotherapy and radiation could be an option, but it won't stop the cancer, it will just prolong the inevitable. So today has been one of those roller coaster ride of a day trying to figure out IF we should try to go to AZ now, or wait and see what happens and more than likely prepare for the funeral.

I have spent the most part of my day either on the computer chatting with my children as we try to decide which would be the better plan, or checking out the cost of airline tickets. Goddess, I hate being in this state of limbo where you know nothing and can make no decisions.

Today Robby had an appointment with an oncologist at Northwest Hospital, this doctor gave him the diagnosis, and Robby just got up and walked out of the room. Doesn't want to hear any options, treatment plans...nothing. He won't even consider doing a Living Will or Power of Attorney because he has his mind made up that his wishes won't be followed. I have never known my brother to just give up on anything, he's a fighter and he never quits. So why has he decided now is the time to throw in the towel?

From what I'm getting second hand, because I STILL haven't spoken directly to anyone, is that he IS considering obtaining a second opinion from an oncologist with connections to UMC. Personally, I'd like to see him go to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Phoenix, but he's digging his feet in about money and how much this is all gonna cost. There has GOT to be a way to get him the care he needs.

I did "chat" with my youngest niece this evening, and asked her to please put our differences on hold while the family goes through this crisis. She has agreed and has also agreed to see if my brother will talk to me. Maybe I can piss him off enough to get him to fight. He has a beautiful baby granddaughter, why wouldn't he want to fight to see her grow up? I just don't understand...

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