Friday, January 14, 2011

Control??

I've been relatively quiet this week...this are so out of my control and I have a hard time dealing with that. The fact that my life is no longer in my control makes me want to scream and throw things. But I don't...I cry ALOT, I pout more than I should, and I spend a more than normal amount of time in my bed, with the blankets pulled up over my head.

I'm trying to be positive about this change...but when I need to go to the grocery store and have no way to get there really makes it difficult to do so. I keep praying that this is just going to be another one of those temporary setbacks we seem to be having an abundance of. And I know Goddess is challenging me, because I am such a control freak, and this is something I need to work on and get under control.

I did *get out of the house* yesterday. I got to go to work for a few hours. My Territory Representative came in from Kansas City and he and Gail picked me up and we "toured" 3 of my 9 stores. YIKES! Two of them were *OK* but the third one was out of control...however, since no one had been to visit said store since MAY 2010, I'm guessing that in itself is a reasonable explanation, ya think??

I'm still not sure how I'm going to be able to do this job (or any job for that matter), I don't have a car, and that means I can't "visit" my stores like they need to be. It seems I'm doing the one step forward, two steps backwards dance. But for right now, I am making a small bit of money...I'm getting paid for all the time I'm training, either in person with Gail, or on the internet. I also get paid for all related phone calls, text messages, and emails. And I am reimbursed for any expenses I have to do the job...

So, for now, I'm praying for guidance, envisioning a car, and trying to work on my irritability. Let's see which one manifests first...

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