Thursday, April 22, 2010

Catching Up…

Things have been a bit unsettled in my world lately. I have been completely wiped out from my weekend trip to Carolina Spirit Quest. And even though I am thoroughly exhausted, I would do it all over again.

When Nancy and I arrived Friday mid afternoon, we were the only campers/participants there. Yes, some of the staff had gotten there the night before, but it was just the 2 of us, checking out the cabins and deciding which rooms we wanted. We decided to lay claim to private rooms in cabin 3 and selected a single bunk room for Nancy (she had WAY too much stuff to be able to share a room, LOL) and a double bunk room for me to share with CJ when she arrived later in the afternoon. I also chose a double bunk room across the hallway from CJ and me for Amanda and Victoria. They were going to be getting to the campground at about 4PM and by then Nancy and I had already begun our *2 hour Community Service* in the kitchen doing the prep work for Friday dinner. Hamburgers, hotdogs, potato salad, and cold slaw were on the menu, and working with John and his wife Amanda was a hoot!

With community service out of the way at 6pm, we were free to have our dinner, hear all the incoming announcements, participate in the meetings for the Ritual Design Team and then kick off the weekend at the opening Ritual at 7PM. I must say, I have been blessed by the people I met this weekend. I am so fortunate to count them among my friends and my FaceBook friends list has grown considerably, LOL! After opening ritual, which was one of the most incredible rituals I have been part of, we went back to our cabin to begin the weekend long celebration for Nancy and Sharon's Birthdays. We started out with just the 5 of us, Nancy, Amanda, CJ, Victoria and me with a bottle of Duplin Carolina Red wine. Then Sharon and Becky joined us adding beer and more wine to the mix, and then I remember Ben and Becky joining us with a bottle of pineapple mead…yummm! There must have been 25 people sitting on the floor of that hallway before the night was over. All I can say is WOW, what a great start to an PHENOMENAL weekend.

Saturday morning up for breakfast, then to my first workshop…Fun With Yeast & Honey, aka: Mead Making, LOL! After that class, I now have in my hot little hands the beginning of a gallon of mead and I'm looking forward to seeing how it comes out. If it fails for some reason, I have the equipment and recipe I need to make my favorite (so far) mead…Joe's Mead. OMG! I found this mead last year at the Renaissance Faire in Wake Forest and promptly fell in love. Now, I'm looking forward to making my own batch and being able to have it on hand whenever I want. Saturday afternoon, lunch, ritual Design meeting, workshop on Tarot with Becky and I'm feeling my day is already a success…not so! I have main Ritual at 8PM and WOW, the creativity with each element contributing; now my day was complete.

By now, I am uber tired and all I want to do is shower and crawl into my bunk. Not gonna happen though, because it's party in the hallway again. LOL!!! Unfortunately or maybe fortunately depending on how you look at it, the party wasn't as well attended that night. Personally I think one of the other cabins had a party and didn't invite us, but I can't prove it. ;) And because of such, I crashed somewhere around midnight. Up by 7 on Sunday morning and last day of SQ.

Breakfast, workshop on Tarot spreads, by now my day has begun to blur from lack of sleep. But I do remember getting everything packed and in the car, having lunch, and closing ritual. After that, the ride home and the remainder of the day/evening/night on Sunday is a complete loss for me. Wait!! I do remember watching the new Clash of the Titans and I have to say about that is it SUCKED!! They managed to utterly destroy not only the original movie but the ENTIRE Myth. I am NOT happy with the way this movie was remade…

So here it is Thursday afternoon, I have made it thus far in my week. Also went to Book Club last night and enjoyed a lively discussion on The Woman with the Alabaster Jar by Margaret Starbird. Next month we are reading CristoPaganism, by Joyce and River Higgenbotham, which I have been able to get a jump start on today. It is another that promises to generate a lively discussion. I can't wait to hear from the others as to how they did or didn't like this book.

I gotta tell ya…I LOVE my life, *sigh*.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mercury In Retrograde

To most people Mercury in retrograde means duck and cover…

This is a time of flight delays, computers crashing, and intense serious arguments. It also rivals the New Moon for statistically counted incidents of sheer craziness and if there is a New Moon during retrograde, hold onto your hat! Even the people who don't have any idea what's going on in the astrological system ask "What's going on?". 

When Mercury retrograde happens, we "could" just hide (that's what I wanna do). But since most of us can't afford that luxury, I need to figure out what I should put on pause, and what I actually need to do to survive.

This is a good time to reread, review, reconsider, rewrite, and redo some projects. Sometimes during Mercury retrograde things that have been lost will mysteriously return to you. All I know is for me personally, when Mercury goes into retrograde, I become an emotional wreck. I stress over everything, I am more susceptible to crying (at the drop of a hat) for no good reason, I have uncontrollable panic attacks, I get angry a whole lot easier over stupid shit, to put it plainly and simply, I become the Bitch From Hell…and the more I try to control my emotions, the more out of control they become. 

Today is a perfect example of that. I am overtired from my amazing weekend getaway at CSQ, spent with my wonderful Spirit Sisters, and although I woke up in a good mood, I have been crying off and on all morning. And there is absolutely nothing I can put my finger on to have caused these crying bouts. Should I chalk it up to being tired? Possibly. Is it an effect of Mercury retrograde? Probably. How am I going to deal with the emotional roller coaster I have found myself on? Good question…first I'm going to adopt the "pick your battles" strategy. When something challenges me I am going to try to take a step back and determine if it's really a challenge or if I honestly need to confront the issue. OK, for those of you who know me, this is NOT one of my better qualities…I normally jump into things head long without much consideration. But for the next few weeks, well, at least until Mercury goes direct on May 11th at 6:27EST, I will try to control myself and my impulses.

But I'm giving you all fair warning…if you intentionally piss me off, the game is ON and I can almost guarantee you won't like the outcome. So please…for the next 24 days, cut me a little slack, don't make me cry, don't piss me off and don't upset me in any way. I know, I know, it's not your responsibility to make my life easier…just help me out a little is all I'm asking, OK??

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Do You Make Friends Easily?

Do you tend to make friends easily?

This was a question on a pre employment questionnaire I recently completed

My answer was: No.

I suppose I should clarify and expand that, but it really comes down to just that. I'm not saying I don't have friends. I'm not saying I don't want or appreciate them, but it doesn't come easy. A lot of people are put off by my occupations, or former occupations. Not that I care about their opinions, but it does make that first hurdle of friendly acquaintances harder to get over. I'm naturally suspicious. I learned early that giving trust easily is an unwise move, and when even your best friend betrays that trust, it makes it harder to trust again.

I always feel like I'm living on the edge, and I've learned that the only person I can completely depend on is me. I may learn to trust others, to a certain extent, but that knowledge is always there and it makes the friendship making process more difficult.

I'm prickly, or so I've been told. I'm opinionated. I'm quick to solve a dispute in violence, and have few qualms about violence. None of this lends itself well to making friends. It makes people wary, and rightfully so. Of course, I'm wary of them as well. So we circle each other warily and keep from reaching out for a long time.

I have friends. There are people willing to see past that, willing to be patient until I trust them. But not too many, and it is never easy. It works for me.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Chronological Order for Journal Posts

A few days ago my friend A suggested I should write about my life, the experiences I have had, the things I have learned, mistakes made and challenges faced. I'm still not too sure why anyone would want to read about what I call my mediocre existence. However, the more I think about this, the more I am inclined to at least try to put it all down in black & white. Even if no one else is interested in what I have done or where I have been, at least I will have a written accounting for my own records. Ya know what they say about age: the memory is the first to go...

So, here's a dilemma I have. I want the entries for this to be in chronological order like a handwritten journal would be. But I haven't been able to find a site on the web that will give me this option. So until, I can find said site...I am just going to put this idea on the back burner for a while longer.

If any one out there knows where I can find this type of option, please let me know...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Saturday before Easter

When I got up this morning, I knew I was going to have a busy day. I made coffee, watched a bit of TV while I tried to wake up and face the day, and then after about an hour decided I'd better get my shit together and get motivated.

We started out for the errands that needed to be taken care of today by first making a stop at Panera Bread for bagels and orange juice, then off to get Jimmy's fishing license renewed.

While we were at Walmart (getting said fishing license renewed), I picked up cat litter and went into the garden department to look for the planter I'm trying to find for my little back patio. I have a wooden fence type divider with gaps between the 1x8 pieces of wood, between my patio and the neighbors that gives a bit of privacy for each apartment. On this fence I have hung 2 bamboo curtains for additional privacy. The wood is SO old and rotted that it won't hold a nail. In my quest to anchor these bamboo curtains I came up with the idea to put one or two deck railing planter boxes over the top of the fence. The Walmart we went to today has a very limited selection of planters of any kind, and unfortunately, I came away empty handed. Shopping for another day.

After Walmart came PetsMart, BJ's (where I picked up a birthday cake for my friend Amanda who is celebrating her Birthday with us tomorrow), and then grocery store, we made it home with no catastrophes.

By this time, I'm uncomfortable because it's in the low 80's and the pollen here in NC is some of the worst I have ever been exposed to. I put my comfies back on, turn on the AC and crawl back into my bed...and after sleeping for over 3 hours, got up fixed dinner (chicken on the grill) and since season 4 starts on the 11th, Jimmy & I sat down to get caught up on season 3 of the Tudors. Thank Goddess for On Demand, LOL!

Now, I'm off to sleep again, because tomorrow promises to be another busy day. Easter Sunday, Jimmy is serving at church for all 3 morning services. He needs to be there uber early as the first service is at 7:45AM. Then Amanda and Steve are picking me up at 10:30 so we can go to the 11:15 service. After church, it's back here for dinner and a relaxing afternoon with our awesome friends.

Happy Easter everyone!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Things to think about...

I think I misunderstood the concept behind the 250 words a day challenge. Maybe my interpretation was acceptable, maybe not. Who can really determine how a person perceives something except the person them selves.

So, after rethinking the idea and chatting with some friends who are also writers, I *think* I am going to start some type of journal. My good friend A says I should write about my life, she finds it interesting, I find it mediocre. She says if I write about the things I have gone through, it will force me to confront the things I have buried or hidden.

I don't know about that. Maybe it will give me the chance to face the reality of them or maybe it will allow me to dig the hole deeper and keep them out of sight. I have done some pretty nasty things and been through some pretty depressing times. But I am hoping this will allow me to be able to FINALLY put some of them to rest and just move the fuck on with what is left of my life.

We'll see how it goes...for now at least.